5 Quick Tips for Boosting Your Confidence TODAY...
I read in Girl Code by Cara Alwill Leyba that "confidence is a muscle that needs a daily workout.” We are not necessarily born with it & I can say that due to the beatdowns of life, my confidence has severely diminished over time. Here a little story about one of my beatdowns…
I guess you can say my confidence killer attacked when I left the nest for the “real world”. I went to a very small high school & it was easy to be involved & get recognition because let’s face it, the competition was minimal. Out of a class of 32, you can shine a little by just showing up. I left high school with soaring confidence and I knew I was going to kill it in college. Look out, college, here I come! I’m smart, I’m actively involved, & I’m here to change the world. Then… mid-terms of my first semester hit. I realized I was NOT going to kill it, in fact, it was maybe going to kill me (hence the confidence killer). I realized that I wasn’t top of the class smart, my ACT score very likely was a fluke, & I was going to fail at keeping my scholarships. I learned I was a small speck in the real world & very, very far from being a big deal. I would say that was my first official beatdown & that particular beatdown shook my confidence to the core & it affected me the rest of my life. It still gives me a nauseous feeling typing it out now—ahhh, Freshmen year was Wicked. I made countless bad choices—most of which stemmed from my lack of confidence. I became starved for validation & the approval of others, which still rears its ugly head today. Darn it, I want people to like me. I wouldn’t say I have low confidence, because when all is said & done, I’m a fighter & survivor. I go into to things shaking & almost ready to throw up, but I have just enough confidence to jump, so I guess you could call me a tryer with shaky confidence--I’m not an executer with solid confidence by no means. Shaky confidence isn’t good enough. I need to raise my self-esteem, so I can reProgram my belief system & wipe out what college did to me *&#* years ago. I need to strengthen my confidence, so I can help others with theirs. I need to strengthen my confidence the same way I need to strengthen my heart & my muscles.
If you question whether you can win, I’m right there with you. If you worry all through sleepless nights, I know how tired you are. If you are too scared to move, I have been planted there too. I’m always saying, “life is too short for (blank)”, so now, I’m saying “life is too short for you to not have faith & trust in yourself, yeah, I’ll even say, “in myself.” But we can do something about this & we can do it today. Here are 5 easy tips for boosting your confidence TODAY.
1. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS! (I put that in all caps because I'm shouting at myself.) Stay focused on you, not others. Confidence is NOT feeling like you are better than others, it's having the ability to be comfortable with who you are regardless of others. As women, we need to stop the comparison game & the gossip--it saps your joy & it makes you feel lousy & contrary to popular belief, it doesn't make you feel more confident; it just weighs you down.
2. Practice self-care. Take the time to take care of yourself both physically & emotionally. When you take care of yourself you feel stronger & you feel more resilient, which makes you feel more confident. I read in a recent blog that "Self-care is the most neglected & underlooked thing in millennial women", which is why you will hear me preaching about it constantly.
3. ReMind yourself of your strengths by listing them out. Take out a piece of paper tonight & brainstorm all your strengths for 20 minutes. Let your mind go wild & fill up your page with all your wonderful qualities. By definition, confidence is having an appreciation for one’s abilities &/or qualities—this list is your abilities & qualities so appreciate them. YOU have so much to be confident about, so keep that note in your planner, or your work desk, or your bedside table, or wherever, so you can refer to when you feel your confidence slipping.
4. Replace the word "should" in your vocabulary with the word "choose". Instead of "I should workout" or "I should eat healthy today", say "I choose to play harder at re:YOU tonight" or "I choose to fuel my body with healthy foods." When you use "should", it implies shame & you have NOthing to be ashamed of--you choose to be strong, you choose to be confident, you choose to be healthy.
5. Cara in Girl Code suggests, doing “things you are scared of because the more you do them, the more confident you will feel.” And…the more confident you are, the more you will slay, Warrior. Dancing in front of mirrors & on videos terrifies me, but when I do it, I truly feel stronger & more confident. I remember jumping off a cliff into Table Rock Lake when I was right out of college. I was so scared every fiber in me was shaking & when I hit the water I landed on my side which bruised my entire thigh, but it was incredible; I was invincible. It was a rush I still remember today—I faced something that almost literally scared the crap out of me & did it anyway. Okay, you don’t have to go cliff diving today, but you can come & dance & I will video you 😉 or you can schedule to do something daring that makes you feel ALIVE.
Have an unbelievably CONFIDENT day, re:YOU Warrior!
Love YOU, Love Others, Love Life,